Something I haven't read before, courtesy of Reclusive Leftist.

Awesome.

Nervey Butterflies

My last few days have been this:






>>When I failed my drivers test I played with buttons and ribbons, and came up with this. Now my journal is sparkly and fun to play with. It can also hold notes with paperclips. I'm going to try to put notes on every once in a while to remind me what I want to focus on at that time. It's a sort of pre-painting-motivation thing. Mostly, though, I just like the interaction of being able to PAPERCLIP things to the front of my journal! Oh how I love office supplies...

Thanks to Suzi Blu for the hole + ring idea, and thanks to iHanna for getting me to break out the buttons! I made a bracelet in the same vein as her post here, and it's pretty awesome. Different colored buttons and brown ribbon. I forgot how fun it is to be able to actually wear something you've made.

Today I DID pass my drivers test, and am now all licensed up. I have real I.D.! Hurrah!

Less than two weeks until I leave. Yikes.

Not much more to say. Another picture-heavy post, I apologize.

Some more random journal pages (+ a negatized version):

Flutter Wreck

Definitely needed to wreck today. I didn't pass my driver's test, and compounded with stress about school and moving, I was just a frustrated mess of a girl. I'm much better now, and have another driver's test scheduled for Thursday. I WILL get this thing.

I think this has been my favorite activity. The instructions were to tie a string to the spine, and swing the book wildly banging into walls. I didn't actually bang into walls - but oh was it wild! I poked a hole through the spine with a nail and tied a string through it. Silly me, I thought it was smart to find the place in the spine where the two halves of the books separate (is it clear I don't know much about bookbinding?). Actually, this just made all the glue, and in fact the entire book, split in half. The pages were barely hanging on.



(You can also see my chocolate sauce print page)

I decided not to fix it before the swinging. Best. Decision. Ever.

I went outside, in the newly crisp evening air, and swung. I not only swung, I TWIRLED - PAGES FLUTTERED. I thought I lost some pages into a nearby bush, but no. Thank-you, page numbers. Oh, the destruction was so delicious. And the sound of the pages was like nothing else - I felt like a fairy. I needed this so much today.

With the help of red thread and duct tape, it's now back in journal form; new and improved. I may have put the middle section in upside-down and backwards, I just may have. Why? Because I can.






I also did some journal pages, but I don't think I'm quite ready to share them yet (mostly because they aren't scanned and I'm lazy like that). It's funny how things can just appear, and be exactly what I need to see or create. It's nice to know that my doodling hands and brain can take care of me.

Inspire Me Thursday: Yellow

Strings Attached






















I've decided to start doing the weekly prompt/challenge at Inspire Me Thursday. If you don't know about this site, you should check it out. It's a wonderful idea, and a great way for artists to share their art and inspirations. The best part is that the art that's created doesn't have to be any particular kind - not even visual. Sure, there are lots of pictures, but there are also songs, poems, all sorts of things!

This week's topic is yellow. I thought about it, and realized that yellow isn't a color I usually gravitate towards, but it's been coming up an awful lot lately in my journaling. I've been strangely drawn to golden yellows and fuchsia-like purples, along with sometimes lush browns and greens. These colors signify summer to me: sated and happy. They suited my mood back then, you know, last week (so long ago!). But when I got this prompt I really did not feel like yellow at all. The thought of using yellow made me feel like a fake. I despised yellow. But, I decided to just slather a page with yellow and see what I came up with. I did, and it was fun, but I still didn't feel yellow. It was a rainy day(yesterday) , and I was still recovering from the terrible kidney thing (seriously - yellow? Really? Must you have such a cruel sense of humor, world?). Much later that day I was staring at my yellow page, and the brown bookmark of my journal. The colors were just so autumnal. It's kind of neat, you know, how our brain works. There are connections with everything to everything else, and our brain can find them. It's like our whole world is a piece of literature that we can pick apart and close read if we choose to (common saying of Fadi). Really, though. The idea of metaphors had to come from somewhere; it's not like they were invented for literature. They show up all the time in life - or maybe that's just because I've been trained to look for them - possibly even fabricate them. In any case, it's cool that it can be done. Here's this color that I'd associated with summer, and a reluctance to move at all, let alone move on, when all of a sudden it's paired with another color and it takes on a whole new meaning. Fall, death, acceptance, and starting. The color that connects the two seasons is yellow. It's possible to make a smooth transition, because of yellow. So here we are, to transitions. To bursting and dying and shedding, but keeping it all alive underneath.

Some (semi) interesting tid-bits about yellow:

• In Greece, yellow is the color of hatred. Do not give a Greek person yellow flowers. They will make him/her sad. Or, more likely, they will make him/her angry. You do not want a Greek person angry. Trust me.
• I own absolutely no yellow clothing, but I have the happiest bag in the world and it is yellow.
• yellow mixes really badly with purple and black. More so than most colors.
• If you mix yellow with red they make orange.
• Belle wears a yellow dress. She is also the best Disney female protagonist (because everyone knows that "Disney Princess" only actually applies to a few of them).
• I have a yellow flashlight on my windowsill.
• I have a friend with yellow galoshes. And so, I covet.-but I have brown ones with flowers so it's ok
• If your eyes turn yellow it's a really bad sign. Call Dr. House, or something.
  

(I ran out of real tidbits after the first one, sorry)

Crayons, Cake, and Paint

I'm starting to feel back to normal. I woke up happy, which is strange even when I'm healthy. I'm not complaining - it was a great day. Productive, even!

Let's see, let's see. Well, I went driving! I have my test on Tuesday, and I am determined. On this driving trip my dad and I got cake mix, as we celebrated my mom's birthday this evening (even though it was last week). For the occasion, I painted a picture. It's in a frame and everything, it's a new thing I'm trying out. I painted a mother and child, and added a funny quote by Dorothy Parker. I'm pretty pleased with the way it turned out! (there's a picture on the left but the colors turned out wonky in the scanner)

I saw Skye for the first time in a while, so that was great. I love it that we can go for months, years, whatever, and things are still basically the same. I also got her to wreck a page in my journal, which was marvelous. She was throwing rock crystals and everything! I was scared to look. But more on that endeavor later.

My recent art journal obsession is crayons. I think part of it has to do with digging up old art memories. But, another part is that crayons are just plain fun and are made out of pretty wax colors. I've also been fascinated with rubbings and etchings (using crayon, but also scratching away paint). This is another childhood magic; suddenly revealing the colors underneath but with only the thinnest of lines, and having a previously invisible picture that you drew emerge. And it never looks like how you imagined it would!

Another visit to my past occurred today in the form of Remington Steele. Not many people know this, but there was a time in my life (middle school / early high school) where I would watch reruns of Remington Steele nearly every day. This show features dashing Peirce Brosnan as a mysterious, suave detective with a passion for classic movies, paired with clever Laura Holt (technically the real protagonist?), as gaurded and sharp as a woman should be. Dazzling intrigue, witty banter, hints of romance - what more could I ask for? We got the first season on DVD, and I've been watching it with my sister Gael. So cheesy, SO fun. I love this show.

Anyway, my journal entries for today. Nothing special, but I think they document my new found carefree acceptance; a mixture of the old magic and the new sentiments, if you will. I'm starting to be at peace with my situation and imminent changes - starting to, I say, starting to.

Kinks in Plans and Organs

So, I've been in the hospital for the past few days witha kidney infection, and apparently a kidney stone? What? This makes no sense to me. I'm doing ok now, but am still tired, grumpy, and irritable as I recover. This has definitely put a kink in my plan to pack and clean and do good things for the world. Ah well.

Before I was buckled over in pain, I actually finished a painting. A painting that was made not in a book, but with the idea that people look at it! I can't post pictures though, because it's a surprise.

I've also been wrecking my journal. This page said to cover it in circles. I like circles and dots - they come up a lot. So, I decided to focus on the covering part. Circles I can do, with lots of appealing space. Against my instincts at various points, I just kept going. Of course a strange little voice kept popping up telling me that I'd "ruin" it, which is silly considering the journal. but hey, that's why we wreck things. To find those silly little voices and gleefully step on their toes. In the most caring, thankful of manner, of course.





Only ONE WEEK until I see Alex!
Which means only two and a half weeks until I go to England? Yikes.

Outside Journaling

As I mentioned in my first post, I've been going on an art rampage. This is fueled and consists mostly of art journaling. My favorite spot to journal is outside. On my left, you can see pictures of the mess I make. The outside is just so large. There's always room for me there. Also, it's easier to wildly paint with the breeze and sun. In any case, this is what I've been doing instead of actually communicating with people. In a way it's bad, because it gives me a perfect excuse to be alone. I shouldn't be able to settle into solitude so comfortably. It makes me lazy when it comes to upholding actual relationships. It's also good though, because it's important to be comfortable alone. And hey - art - outside - awesome. Anyway, you can see more of my art journal pages at my flickr, but here are a few examples that I've done in the past two or three days (didn't go outside yesterday, as I was reading in my screen porch listening to rain).

Today I hope to journal outside again, as it feels weird not having done it for even just one day. I need to snap out of this lethargy. I'm also going to practice driving today; hopefully I'll actually get my driver's license finally. I'm twenty years old and can't legally drive. Well, with the whole gas thing I guess it's really not so bad. However, I'd like the freedom. Not that I would drive everywhere, but knowing that I COULD would be nice. I have a test scheduled for the 16th, wish me luck.

Besides journaling, I'm also currently working on two different painting projects. One is of Alex and I, and the other is just a girl. The one of Alex and I is fairly realistic (I cheated and used the square method on a picture of us), so I felt the need to do something a bit more imaginative. So that's why. They're turning out nicely, although I'm too careful with them.















This one I did last night and this morning. Just a quick drawing of my Rascal-kitty perching on my hip. She does that a lot.

Wreck This Journal

I got a new plaything the other day. It's a book by Keri Smith called "Wreck This Journal." The subtitle is "to create is to destroy." In the front of the book there's a warning:

"Warning: during the process of this book you will get dirty. You may find yourself covered in paint, or any other number of foreign substances. You will get wet. You may be asked to do things you question. You may grieve for the perfect state that you found the book in. You may begin to see creative destruction everywhere. You may begin to live more recklessly."

It's really a lot of fun. And so, some pictures.

(getting ready to burn!)

Hm, wow. That's a lot of pictures for one post. I had quite a backlog, though. I've had this blog for a few days but have been too lazy/scared to actually post things. Once I get into a habit of uploading pictures as I go, they will be less overwhelming I suspect. One of the things this journal looks to explore is impermanence. So, since I'm going to be doing things like taking it in the shower with me, I thought it would be fun to record-as-I-go. From now on I'll also include observations and more commentary on the experiments.

Territories

I've started this blog for a variety of reasons. For one thing, the whole travel blog seems to be the thing to do. As I'm about to start traveling (ok...not for another three weeks), I thought I'd start one. Also, I wanted to be able to make comments on those of my friends already across the sea. I'm going to be studying archaeology at the University of Durham for the entire academic year. Here I'll document my travels, cultural experiences, and cool archaeology stuff I learn. I'm very excited for this adventure, but in my experience adventures are shorter. This seems a bit more like real life; as it turns out, it's much more easy to be scared about real life. Nevertheless, I'm sure it will be fine. I'm sure that the English are very nice, and I'm sure I'll make friends, and I'm sure that I'll even be able to survive the stabs of nostalgia and intense loneliness. I'm anticipating a lot of lonely walks around Durham - apparently a beautiful old English city. Tragic, no? In any case, I'm sure it will help ease any romantic lovesick tendencies I come across, as well as the homesick ones. Despite being terrified, I think this year will be very good for me. I'll be truly on my own, and I'll get to work more on that whole growing up thing.

More important, I'll be able to explore that whole archaeology thing more. I just got back from a month-long dig in Greece, and it was fabulous. However, it also got me thinking about my future in archaeology. At this point I don't even have a culture in mind. I do know about what time period I'm interested in, if by time period you mean "really old". This upcoming year I'll be able to focus in on honing my own interests. Sounds like a pretty enjoyable task to me. I only have a vague idea of the classes I'll be taking, but the various course descriptions I've perused leave me drooling with excitement. A whole class on archaeological illustration? Field archaeology of Britain and Ireland? European pre-history? "Ancient Complex Societies In Action" (Egypt/N.E./India)? Awesome.

The second reason I wanted to start a blog is art. This summer I've gotten into reading blogs, specifically art blogs. The internet is such a fascinating medium. I love being able to see the work of endless artists - artists who do art for money, for pleasure, or for both. It's an endless stream of inspiration, ideas, and crazy beauty. I like it. Anyway, I'd like to participate in that community a little bit more. Something that this world has introduced me to is the concept of art journaling. It's such a release to think of art as journaling; for one thing, art is intensely meditative and personal - the journal medium brings out those qualities. Also, for me, it immediately zapped away any insecurities. I can't be scared of something being weird or looking bad if I'm doing it only for me and my little journal. On the other hand, art is meant to be shared. So that's what I'm working on now. This blog is partly a way for me to get over my insecurities regarding my artwork. One of those insecurities is calling the pictures I draw/paint/doodle art, and myself an artist. But you know what? They are, I am. Anything made by someone is art. If I call it art, it's art. So there. Something one of my blogger inspirations (Suzi Blu) said that really stuck with me is that when we were little we colored and colored. These pictures were put on our fridge, our walls, and no one could tell us it wasn't art. What changed?

Anyway. The point is that this summer I've gone on an art rampage. I'm going to continue with it, and post pictures. I'll also probably write out thoughts that come with rampaging, because let me tell you art rampaging is all about observation and thinking. At least for me, art is less about creation than it is discovery. Ok, that sounds sappy, but what here's kind of what I mean. It's all already there. The paint, the paper, the pencils. What I'm doing is putting them together. If there's something that I want to draw, more or less accurately, it's about observation. It's about looking at something carefully, and paying attention to shadows, lines, and relationships. When I'm doing something that isn't just translation, it's also about observation, but in a different way. When I draw a line, my brain makes all these little explosions of connections telling me where it could go next. Usually, these explosions result in drawing another line without even thinking about it. In order to continue and expand, I need to observe these explosions. I need to figure out where my head's going, so that more explosions happen. I need to sit back, and watch what happens. When I watch, I can remember, and use those same patterns elsewhere. It's a pretty cool process, although I think I failed at describing it. Anyhow - documenting those thought explosions will probably be useful to me.

What it comes down to is this: lots of things are changing, and I want a record of how they change.

And now, some quotes from the book my title comes from, because it's really good and you should read it. Also I feel these quotes are surprisingly relevant. The boundary of twilight separates this world and Elfland. Now, it's important to know that Elfland isn't cute and full of happy dust. The main conflict in the book comes from the clashing of the two worlds, and neither one is shown in a much better light than the other. The contrast of the two worlds is used to highlight how this world is different but equally beautiful. The book deals with time, so I felt it was relevant to archaeology. It's also set in England written by an Englishman, so again, relevant. The art part should be fairly self-explanatory in a moment, but I guess it helps to understand that an art mindset is very different than a normal art mindset for me, so it's like crossing worlds (woo-ooo). I chose the name boundary of twilight because right now I'm about as liminal as it gets - I'm so liminal I'm surprised I don't have a rite (sorry, anthro joke - rather, anthro reference to myself that really isn't very funny). Ahem. Quotes:



"Alveric said over and over to himself farewell to all these things: the cuckoo went on calling, and not for him. And then, as he pushed through a hedge into a field untended, there suddenly close before him in the field was, as his father had told, the frontier of twilight. It stretched across the fields in front of him, blue and dense like water; and things seen through it seemed misshapen and shining. He looked back once over the fields we know; the cuckoo went on calling unconcernedly; a small bird sang about its own affairs; and, nothing seeming to answer or heed his farewells, Alveric strode on boldly into those long masses of twilight.

A man in a filed not far was calling to horses, there were folk talking in a neighbouring lane, as Alveric stepped into the rampart of twilight; at once all these sounds grew dim, humming faintly, as from great distances: in a few strides he was through, and not a murmur at all came then from the fields we know. The fields through which he had come had suddenly ended; there was no trace of its hedges bright with new green; he looked back, and the frontier seemed lowering, cloudy and smoky; he looked all round and saw no familiar thing; in the place of the beauty of May were the wonders and splendours of Elfland"(13).



"And the colour of Elfland, of which I despaired to tell, may yet be told, for we have hints of it here; the deep blue of the night in Summer just as the gloaming has gone, the pale blue of Venus flooding the evening with light, the deeps of lakes in the twilight, all these are hints of that colour. And while our sunflowers carefully turned to the sun, some forefathers of the rhododendrons must have turned a little towards Elfland, so that some of that glory dwells with them to this day. And, above all, our painters have had many a glimpse of that country, so that sometimes in pictures we see a glamour too wonderful for our fields; it is a memory of theirs that intruded from some old glimpse of the pale-blue mountains while they sat at easels painting the fields we know.

So Alveric strode on through the luminous air of that land whose glimpses dimly remembered are inspirations here. And at once he felt less lonely. For there is a barrier in the fields we know, drawn sharply between men and all other life, so that if we be but a day away from our kind we are lonlely; but once across the boundary of twilight and Alveric saw this barrier was down" (15).



"He moved three steps and came to the frontier itself; his foot was the furthest that stood in the fields we know; against his face the frontier lay like a mist, in which all the colours of pearls were dancing gravely. A hound stirred as he moved, the pack turned their heads and eyed him; he stood, and they rested again. He tried to see through the barrier, but saw nothing but wandering lights that were made by the massing of twilights from the ending of thousands of days, which had been preserved by magic to build that barrier there. Then he called to his mother across that mighty gap. Then he upon one side Earth and the haunts of men, and the time that we measure by minutes and hours and years, and upon the other Elfland an another way of time. He called to her twice and listened, and called again; and never a cry or a whisper came out of Elfland. He felt then the magnitude of the gulf that divided him from her, and knew it to be vast and dark and strong, like the gulfs that set apart our times from a bygone day, or that stand between daily life and the things of dream, or between folk tilling the Earth and the heroes of song, or between those living yet and those they mourn. And the barrier twinkled and sparkled as though so airy a thing never divided lost years from that fleeing hour called Now" (141).



"For some moments Orion stood thinking among his hounds, trying to decide which way to turn, trying to weigh the easy lazy ages, that hung over untroubled lawns and the listless glories of Elfland, with the good brown plough and the pasture ad the little hedges of Earth" (p. 144).



Lord Dunsany, The King of Elfland's Daughter (1924).