Cathedrals

Earlier tonight I attended a cathedral tour with some other people from Chad's college. It was led by the Dean of the University, who is also some sort of important priest (I don't recall his exact title). This wasn't the first time I've been in the Cathedral, but it was the first time I've had an actual tour. The first time I walked into the Durham Cathedral, I was overwhelmed with the similarities to the Bryn Athyn Cathedral; when they say it was modeled after Romanesque architecture they aren't kidding. Right down to the little relief arches down the sides, the tall stained glass at the back, and the circular stained glass at the front. Most of the columns are the same style (if bigger and more varied in the Durham cathedral), and the stone is the exact color and texture. This all washed over me again, as I walked for the third time into the beautiful cathedral. But soon, what also became starkly apparent were the differences.

It fascinates me, how to be involved in religion you must know history. The Dean in particular, though, portrayed an intense sense of awe at the legacy embodied within this place of worship. Not all of this legacy is nice - one of the first things he said was that both the Cathedral and the Castle (right next to it) were a way of saying "Hey Saxons, we're here, get used to it" (I'm paraphrasing, obviously), and was accompanied with intense violence, particularly in this part of England. Personally, I would (and do!) have trouble ascribing to a faith that has been the tool of oppression - but I find it inspiring when I see people acknowledging the dark side of their faith's past (or even present), and still hold it apart, as something to be salvaged, changed, and cherished. At the west end of the cathedral there is a line in the floor made of a darker marble. This was the line separating where women could go, and the main part of the monastery. The Dean talked about how when the monastery was transformed into a place for public worship, a woman would have crossed that line for the first time - and whether or not she new its significance, he likes to think of that moment. When the Anglican church allowed women to be ordained as priests, he thought of it as crossing that line; when and if (he hopes they do) ordain women as bishops, it will be the final crossing, and finally women will be fully included into the church structure. Another neat tidbit is that the bit of darker marble has fossils in it - and when we talk about all the people and cultures commemorated in the building, the oldest is the organisms in that stone; a "reminder that God's plan spans eons, and is not confined to the duration of the human species".

Also, speaking of where women could go, there is a small chapel behind the line, where services that women could attend were held. That, my friends, is where the Venerable Bede is entombed. Yes, that's right, the Venerable Bede.

Anyway. Back to the differences between the Durham Cathedral (built in the early 11th century) and the Bryn Athyn Cathedral (built in the early 20th century). There is the continuity of history, yes. The Bryn Athyn Cathedral does not have the stark contrast of elaborate later woodwork or victorian metalwork against the solid stone; Bryn Athyn seems more whole, in a way - simpler, not as much of a conglomeration - clearly it is not shaped by nearly the same weight of time. But also, in a way, it's more complex. I think the differences, for me, come down to differences regarding the separation of the sacred and the profane (and how those things are defined). It's strange to me to have memorials to bishops and saints and real people right in the cathedral. It's strange, but it's also quite beautiful. There's this one memorial that was put up earlier in this century, to the people who lost their lives in the mines "and those those toil in danger today" (or something like that). Apparently, people from all over county Durham (really a very big place) would travel to Durham city to worship in the cathedral, and pay their respects to the monument; they would bring their "brass bands and miner's banners", and listen to important political speakers in the square. As the Dean said, it shows us just how integral the mining industry was to this part of Northern England - not just economically, but as a very central and lethal challenge to the lives of everyday people. It also shows that they saw the cathedral as a symbol of hope or peace or political action, or at least a fitting place for remembrance. This particular memorial is also striking in that it's in the same style as those to influential bishops or priests, but it's to the everyday people of the congregation. It lists all the names of the people who died in the mines, in a book next to it. And it's in a church, a place of worship.

Along the same lines, we ended our tour at the shrine of St. Cuthbert. Cuthbert was brought here in 995, before the cathedral was built. In fact, a group of monks took him from Lindisfarne (to escape the danger of the invading Vikings) and carried him around for many years, until they decided that he wanted to stop and rest. Where they stopped, they built a cathedral - this cathedral isn't remaining, but it was on the same spot as the standing one (this first cathedral is also the one that stole St. Bede - his body - from the neighboring monastery where he grew up and spent most of his life. "Sacred theft," it's called). Around this cathedral, grew the city of Durham. According to the Dean St. Cuthbert was a great man, who valued simplicity and kindness. Our guide told us he likes to end his tours there, because it brings him back to why he's here, the "heart of Christian values: simplicity, responsibility to help our neighbor, and to worship God". And it's true - the space demands a quiet contemplation in a way not a lot of places do (although admittedly I'm called to quiet contemplation in rooms of old stuff - especially if they're religious in nature - perhaps more than most).

Also interestingly, as pointed out, although a Norman structure it houses "two of the greatest Saxons" - Bede and St. Cuthbert, one on either side of the cathedral. Again, having to do with the incorporation and representations of actual people within the religious sphere, in a place where there used to be nine altars (so the monks could all have mass every day or something) the congregation is erecting new altars, to female saints of the area (some - like St. Margaret - also Saxons). There is also religious artwork from local artists - some on the walls, some standing.

This focus on real people leaves me unsure what to think. In one way, it highlights how the Church can be misused - the throne of Bishop Hatfield, for example. Although well intentioned, I'm sure, it definitely calls your attention to how the bishops (cathedral apparently means 'seat of the bishop') were not just religious figures - they could call up armies, instate taxes, and were a leader in the local community for good or for ill. But on the other hand, no matter how much we'd like to believe that religion is a purely spiritual matter, it's always going to have a social aspect - is it better to just have it out there? On yet another hand (I can have three, right?), the honoring of people who still inspire others today, like the Bede or the miners, people who were generally kind and giving examples of how to live or reminders of atrocious and still relevant hardships, that appeals to me somehow. It seems grounded in a way I'm not used to. Again, maybe it's just the history thing, but I really like thinking that 'normal' people (albeit usually elite)are seen as worthy of being incorporated in the thoughts of people when they are worshiping and thinking about their creator and world. Every time people enter the cathedral, they are not also drawn upward by the sturdy architecture to think about transcendence and a sort of cosmic comfort (at least that's how I feel when I enter cathedrals), they are also reminded - almost on the sides of consciousness - that these principles are embodied in real people.

It's also interesting to me to wonder about how the Bryn Athyn Cathedral reflects it's unique context. And I'm not even just talking about Swedenborgianism (although that clearly is a huge factor), but also when and where it was built. I'd like to look into it more, if I had nearly that amount of energy and motivation. Also, I think the simplification and the sort of focusing of the Bryn Athyn cathedral is very evident of the goals of the builders and the religion - in order to get away from the sort of secular role of the church and outside influences (such as money or power) and focus instead on an internal journey toward a personal God. In the Durham Cathedral, there is no one focus. In the Bryn Athyn one, there is a very definite focus on the altar holding the bible, surrounded by the seven lamp stands. Does this also perhaps have to do with re-visiting the different symbolic aspects of the tabernacle, and redefining those spaces of holiness in order to sharpen focus? Also, although there's significantly less large focuses going on in the Bryn Athyn Cathedral, it's also in a strange way more complex. Because it was conceived all at one time, and for the New Church, everything symbolizes something. These symbols are in the forms of numbers and colors and shapes and animals. In the Durham cathedral they would have had grotesques, along with statues of Jesus and Mary and saints and things, but they were almost all fairly understandable and anthropomorphic (at least that's the sense I got from our relatively general tour).

(also, I doubt the Bryn Athyn cathedral would serve fancy snacks and three choices of wine after a tour - which is, by the way, my official excuse for any atrocious grammar...but that's besides the point)

Ok, one last thing: the way the subsequent history shapes our impressions of a prior history. Pretty standard, but it still always gets me. It's the same thing as Roman and Greek stuff - none of this white marble, they would have been gaudily painted. The Durham Cathedral was originally painted - most (if not all) cathedrals were. I have such a hard time fathoming this, as so much of what I think of when I think of cathedrals is the color and texture of the stone. Interestingly, and not quite related, a lot of damage occurred during the reformation. The bishop at the time right before trouble really came to Durham saw what the king was doing, so took the statues behind the main altar and hid them. He must have hid them well, as they are still hidden. It is one of the great mysteries of Durham Cathedral. I will leave you with that.

Religious Life In Ancient Egypt.

So, despite my freaking out last weak about my inability to recognize anything remotely Egyptian (in particular my failure to remember that cows ears are associated with Hathor when put on the spot with an object depicting a woman's head with cows ears ... I thought she was just a cow.) , and despite my being completely unable to face the world at 9 this morning (I couldn't sleep until after 6 AM for some reason, woke up at 7:45 feeling awful, and it was hailing outside. I grumbled and went back to sleep.), I really enoy my Religious Life in Ancient Egypt class. In particular, I really like the professor, Penny Wilson. She's so obviously in love with the entire Egyptian mentality, it's marvelous.

Next week we have a 'tutorial', which this time means reading an article and presenting it debate-style. The sides:

Group 1: Akhenaten was a heretic and despot
Group 2: Akhenaten was an enlightened (and misunderstood) religious reformer

Hah! I don't know why I find this amusing, but I do.
(I was put in the enlightened misunderstood religious reformer group)

I'll write a real update soon, I will. But now I need to go read an make up for my lazy day of feeling grumpy.

How I Know I'm in England

Some days are full of an extra-awareness that yes, I am in England.
One of those days was last Friday, when I decided to wander around Durham on the only sunny day of the week, instead of doing work.


Take the road directly outside my door to the Cathedral and "Palace Green"















Then, to explore the path around behind the cathedral, vaguely searching for the archaeological museum.










Only to find the museum distinctly inaccessible from this route (although the roof was very nice).



I still haven't seen the inside of the museum, but it was a wonderfully refreshing day which turned into a pretty relaxed weekend.

Now it's Tuesday, and I've been remarkably productive. I'm going to go carry on doing that.

trips, returns, and documentation (pictures!)

This weekend I went to visit my wonderful friend Shannyn in Norwich.

There was silliness and weird shenanigans.

Shannyn is in a circus society, and I met her friends from there. I also went to a meeting and learned some poi! It's pretty awesome-fun.

Nicole is also up for the week. She is studying in France, but has a week off.

Norwich is a very cool city, and good times were had by all.

Apparently the UEA folks don't have much work. This made me feel better, as I am constantly concerned I'm not doing enough. Especially as I didn't do anything last week... However, this morning I was doing a review of class notes that professors put up on DUO (our version of blackboard), and found a practice test for Artefacts and Materials. The questions are so specific! I'm definitely meant to be doing much much much more studying than I am. Here's to a week of hermitism.

After a very long train ride, in which I was stuck behind a guy who smelled really truly awful (a mixture of stale chinese food and what was probably some sort of drug - it made me feel ill, anyway), I arrived in Durham and was surprised by how familiar it was. It astounds me how quickly we adapt. I was worried that it was taking me a long time - I'm not anymore. The amount of affection I have for this town is absurd. There's nothing like leaving and then returning to make you appreciate a place. Seriously, Durham is breathtaking.

And so, some pictures from yesterday afternoon:

Right outside the trainstation
View of city from above
...

Bridge leading into the center of town
& the Norman castle
...

view from the bridge
& Durham Cathedral
...

square in the center of the city
...

view from my window
rainbows when I return
appropriate, no?
...

Irritable Erica Complains and Reflects

Complaints:

• I want a salad. There is no salad to be had. They call brown lettuce in sandwiches 'salad'.
  
• I chose to buy a sandwich from the library cafe today. Little did I know my "farmhouse cheddar" sandwich would be slathered in butter. Ew, ew, ew.
• My clothes don't fit properly. They never have. I suspect they never will. I am uncomfortable.
• I spent an hour in the library, and found none of the books I was looking for.
• The library should organize their journals better. Like, say, using the alphabet.
  
• I spend most of my time walking around town.
• I have a lot of work to do (but, see lack of books. Problem.)
• I miss Alex & my family
  
• I can't wait until this stupid election is over. I. Am. So. Sick. Of. It. (but apparently the student union is having an election party. That could be fun. Or eye-gougingly frustrating)
  
• I want a salad
• I want a salad
• I want a salad

Reflections:

It's nice being part of a large department for a change. There are so many areas of study to choose from, and a variety of view points available. We have an illustrator, a photographer, and a zillion professors. And the facilities! We have a conservation lab, an oriental museum, and more. However, the thing about the British is that a lot of your course reading has to be done in the library (as the reading list is HUGE, and you can't possibly purchase that many books). At Dickinson, even when people in the same class are all using the same book in the library, because there are so few people to begin with you can be pretty sure that whatever book you want will be available. This is not so here. It's a problem (already in complaint section).

My Religious Life In Ancient Egypt is the best class ever.
Be jealous.
Today we learned about mortuary temples for an hour, and then priests and the priesthood for an hour.

Later today I have my Artefacts and Materials class, which is also excellent. I think Monday is my favorite day, actually, even though I have two classes, and one of them is at 9 in the morning (the other from 4:15-6:15 PM).

Also, I really really like Northern Mesopotamia. Maybe I'll read about that this afternoon if I can't find books relevant to my essays.

By the way, despite complaints and malnutrition, I'm doing really well. I like Durham, Chad's, my classmates, my housemates, and I love love love my classes. Oh, I also went to a swing dance meeting/lesson on Sunday! It's very fun, and I'm excited to keep it up.

Now I'm off to see if I can't find some books on Alpine Rock Art, and perhaps the Lindisfarne Gospels.

Woo!

(I still promise pictures, but not today. Tomorrow, if there's time)

Random Social Stuff

So far I've talked about classes, and culture shock, but I haven't talked at all about the rest of life at "Uni," as these people call it. Basically, Chad's is welcoming, friendly, and I like pretty much everyone. I live in a small house down the street from Main College (the building where we eat, get mail, and a lot of freshers live), where pretty much everyone hangs out together. This is very strange to me, as for the past two years most of my friends have lived in different dorms. A dorm, my room, etc, is very much a place where I go when I'm done doing things. Now, I feel constantly antisocial for not being downstairs in the kitchen, by the stairs, or in someone's room chatting. To be honest, I feel a little out of place. The one time I hung out with them they talked about British things - mostly school, which is one of the more confusing British things (A levels? What?). Individually, I do like the people I live with a lot, but I don't do well in large groups.

There's a group of us international kids that are still pretty close. A list of names and things:

Hanano from Japan. She's studied in the UK before this (what we'd call high school, but who knows what it's called here. She's very sweet, and studying music. She's also one of my only friends who is also not doing sports. Awesome.

Jasmine from Singapore. She's studying Law, although is jealous of me studying archaeology (she wanted to study arch, but her mom wouldn't let her). She's sort of loud and is taking on way too much.

Anthony from Pennsylvania. No, we didn't know each other before this. No, different sides of the state. How far apart? About 7 or 8 hours. Yeah, America's big. (<--- typical conversation) He's studying English, and is another exchange student! His home college is Cornell.

Namali from Sri Lanka. Excellent person, studying Economics. Friendly, happy, lovely.

Anthony and I are the only two people of this group that aren't constantly freezing here.

As far as British people go, I've made a fair amount of friends. Mostly archaeology students, as we have something in common that I'm comfortable talking about. However, they certainly aren't all arch students. I won't go through them all, as there are a lot, but it's fun.

It's strange, though, because I've made all these archaeology friends but we will never ever have class together. I haven't had enough classes to really know the people in them yet, so it's a little weird. Also, the classes are very much lecture style so far - there's not a lot of interaction, and everyone already has their own group of friends (and knows everyone else anyway). It's not bad though. I love my classes so far.

I guess I don't really have that much to say. Last week there was an "alphabet bop", where you had to dress up as something starting with the first letter of your name. I went as emo. This week I've been fairly anti-social, although I did go to the bar last night and then ate chips with Zoe, and some other girls in her corridor.

I also drew a little last night, for the first time in a while. It was nice. I am going to make an effort to do that more often. Speaking of which, I have my first Fine Arts Society meeting tonight at 8. I'm excited! Apparently they get together and draw, as well as show each other their work. I'm not exactly sure how it will go, but it sounds cool. Also, they provide members with a studio space (maybe I will be able to get into woodburning after all!) and a way to get discounted art supplies.

Also, I decided not to join net ball or caving. I wanted to be able to keep my weekends free, for traveling and studying. Going along the same train of thought I also decided not to join InStep (the dance society) or the Swing Dancing Society, and instead just run or go to the gym. But, then, last night I was feeling gross and missed dancing a lot. I also realized that I would never be able to keep up a gym schedule - as I don't actually enjoy it all that much. So, now I am going to the second swing dance meeting tomorrow at 2, and have emailed InStep to see if it's too late to join. Ha. I'm excited, though. I was looking at the InStep schedule, and it looks like you can go to any class you want, as often as you want, so hopefully it's not actually all that much of a time restraint.

OH ALSO! Next weekend I'm visiting the Norwich kids, although that reminds me - I still need to look up train tickets/schedules and email around to see who has a free floor for me to crash on.

Anyway, I'm going to go do some sort of work (I may go to the library, or I may just read in my room). Sorry this was such a boring update. Pictures soon, I promise!

Ginger Thoughts

Before I begin, let me preface this post by saying that I really do love it here.

Now, let me begin.

Whenever people talk to me about America, American politics, American culture, whatever, some sort of terrible but probably true statistic comes up. Invariably, it points to how backwards we are as a culture (and not as good as England). Of course, it's not in so many words, and many of these same people profess a love for the U.S. - it's "spirit" and "freedom" (ha). The fact that we're "inward looking" comes up a lot, and some statistic about how very few of us even have passports. This I find a bit unfair - almost everyone I know has a passport, almost everyone I know likes to travel - but that's because I live in a privilege bubble. I suspect that this statistic arises because although most people would like to travel, not a lot of people can afford it. Apparently people here go to Greece to party a lot. People in the U.S. can't do that. So? I also find it amusing that they tell this to me, who clearly has a passport, and then say they could never study for a year abroad, because they "aren't brave enough".

Now, like I say, I clearly circulate in a very small segment of American society - Dickinson is hardly mainstream, and Bryn Athyn even less so. It's hard for me to respond and carry on such conversations, because (as it's becoming more and more clear to me) my understanding of my culture as a whole is embarrassingly lacking. But isn't that the thing? What is American culture as a whole? America is so freaking huge!

Another thing that comes up a lot is the election. Rather, Republicans come up a lot. Not just regular Republicans, like the two other U.S. exchange students, of course it's the extremes. Admittedly, our extremes are fairly extreme. I've been asked if I'm a redneck, if I come from a redneck state, if I believe A or B or what have you. This is all mostly ok. I expected this. Our country has some serious problems. But what surprises me is that I haven't come across any dissatisfaction with British society (except for the economy). Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places, but someone told me that there wasn't really any racism in the UK, not "the way it is in America". Really? REALLY? Well that's fabulous, if I beleive it at all. He also told me that "well, it does exist, but it's always disguised as something else because people don't want to admit it. They talk about not wanting imigrants to take their jobs, but they don't have a problem with white immigrants, so I guess that's racist." Hmm, yeah, I think it just might be *eye roll*

Not like America at all.

I guess the thing is guns, though. The U.S. is much more violent, apparently. This I beleive.

However, I find it strange being told that my country is so much behind the times on these things when in my first week I was called "a big fat ginger" and my singapore friend who was with me was called a "chink", all because we ignored some cocky bastards making passes at us from inside a car. A friend on facebook's status is that she's "coming to terms with being called a blonde **** by a Durham local". Nope, no racism or sexism here!

I don't mind the inquiries and sarcasm aimed at the U.S., as I think they all point to legitimate problems we have, but it does bother me that I haven't found any sort of public face for adressing these things on campus, when they clearly exist here as well, if in different forms. In order to make up for that hideously long sentence, let me explain in smaller sentences.

At Dickinson, there is always an event, a group, SOMETHING that's talking about Guantanamo, Darfur, feminism, LGBTQ rights, fighting racism, etc. The women's center is fairly prominent. This doesn't make the place perfect, but at least these issues are being discussed if you want to discuss them, and are somewhat in the student consciousness. Now, maybe me not finding anything at all like this here has to do with circumstances. There is no universal sounding board, like the stairs of the HUB. Maybe I'm moving in the wrong circles, maybe I'm just not looking hard enough. But, in the list of societies on line, there is no woman-centered or feminist group. There's the "Happily Ever After" society (where you pretend to be princes and princesses and watch Disney movies), there's the community that prays for global issues, there's the chocolate society, but no feminist society. The closest I could find was Amnesty International, which I'm joining. I know that I saw a sign for the LGBTQ society at the fresher's fair (where you sign up for all these things) but I didn't see the table, and looking through the list of societies online I couldn't find it. Although they are much more laid back about gay people here, I really really doubt that homophobia isn't an issue.

Is it because these things are SUCH HUGE problems in America - and often ignored or refuted problems - that we are pushed to adress them as much as we can, where we can? Are they really more aware of current events - both in their country and out? I haven't the faintest idea. I feel more ignorant now than ever. But, I do know that the lack of a women's group on campus is a blind spot that I find particularly frustrating, as I'm meant to be making connections and writing an article for the women's group at home.

On another note, I miss the writing center. They don't have anything like that here, and I have no idea how to write British essays. Let's hope they're more or less the same as U.S. essays. Although today a professor told us to start our essay off with "In this essay I will explain..." Huh? What? I hate that. I advise people not to do that. Ug.

Also I miss the caf. I'm a vegetarian now, partially because I'm so sick of beef, and you're not allowed to have the vegetarian option unless you tell them you really are a vegetarian. So, I'm a vegetarian.

Sorry if this sounds like complaining, it's actually not in my head. Just some thoughts.


Update: I found the LGBT site, it wasn't listed with the other societies, it had it's own website. It looks fairly large. Perhaps I'll find a woman thing eventually.

Classes...er...modules?

Well, as it turns out, I'm attending only the coolest school in the world. I've had four out of my six lectures so far. The first lecture I attended was less lecture and more throwing-us-into-it, and left me excited but more apprehensive than anything, to be honest. I felt completely out of my element, which is weird because it was archaeological illustration; in other words, the combination of my two passions. But, give it a few weeks and I think I'll love it. Do I mind not having a reading list or an exam, but instead coming into the building to draw cool stuff and hand in a portfolio? No, no I do not. Not at all. Awesome.

My second lecture (last Friday) made most of my built up apprehension dissipate. Ancient Complex Societies In Action. At first I was nervous, because the lecturer began by asking if everyone had taken ACE (ancient civilizations of the east) the year before. I have not done anything official with the "east" (besides religions in china) since I was a freshman in high school. But, then he went into a rant about citation and led us through some painstakingly obvious "tests". I got the citation down. Oh yeah. Citation queen. Then, after a break, the same class reconvened with another professor. Instead of introduction of any kind, he lept into talking about Northern Syria and how we can know if it was part of the Assyrian Empire or not. He talked about agricultural patterns and what they tell us about the political structure. Oh my goodness awesome. Which reminds me, Syria, I need to email Fadi. I am so bad at keeping in touch with people, it's awful. Also, if anyone's sent me things on my Dickinson address, I appologize. I can't actually acess it in my room because of something with the connection, and so can only check it in the library. Although I've actually spent a fair amount of time in the library, I keep forgetting to check it.

Today I had two lectures, one at 9 and one at 4:15. Both were excellent. In the first, Religious Life in Ancient Egypt, it was again a jump straight into lecturing. The professor talked about general aspects of Egyptian religion and it's synchronicity. She also talked about cult centers and how they were set up. Each cult center also held the resources for its region. Also, each cult center had a creation myth, about how the god they worship founded the world at that very location. To quote my professor "How do you have all these different centers claiming to be commemorating the spot where the world began, with different mythologies and cosmologies, and still work together?" pause, as if waiting for an answer. "Well, you're Egyptian, that's how."

It was really excellent. Again, I was nervous about my lack of background, but I found that I was much less lost than I thought I'd be. It turns out I'm osmosed a very faint general orientation in the world of Egyptian scholarship just from being interested in it. Also, oddly enough I found that I understood a lot of the theological/religious/cultural concepts from Hill's religions in china and anthro of religion classes, and the architecture stuff I understood from Maggidis's classes. Excellent, and unexpected.

This evening I had Artefacts and Materials. I don't have much to say about it, except that it's already really fun. The group of people seems nice. There's another international exchange student (from Sweden) that I'd met before, so it was nice not to be sitting by myself while the third years all knew each other. The professor is humorous, and seems good natured. The content is unusual - very broad and spanning all cultures and times - but specific in the methods etc. I'm looking forward to it. I just emailed in my requests for the project/seminar leading/essay thing we have to do. I want to do either the Lindisfarne Gospels or pigments. Fun stuff.

Socially, things have been going pretty well, although more on that later as I'm meeting a friend at the Chad's bar. Then, it's cleaning and more reading for me.

Peace.

durham durham chad's durham!

Ok, I'm here.

Things started off a bit rocky, as they can't give me my real room untill room allocations on Sunday. So I was sitting, feeling very much alone, in a small temporary room, with overflowing suitcases I couldn't unpack, running on 0 hours of sleep. Once I took a shower, picked myself up, and found the admissions office, however, things worked out splendidly. People here are really nice, and now I am actually partly registered with the university. I can't figure out how to hook up my computer in my room (I can't find a plug, let alone a phone jack), and I should probably wait until I have a permanent room anyway. Right now I'm in the University Library, which is actually only the music and law library, and I think mostly for post-grads. But it's right across the street where I'm staying, and in the square of the cathedral and castle, so here I am.

Yesterday I wandered around the center of town a bit, and discovered this: Durham is the most beautiful town in the whole world. I can't beleive I'm actually living here. I've seen a lot of pretty things in my life, but this really takes it. Old buildings cropping up everywhere, liftintg their heads above the roofs of the less-old buildings, beautiful running water (I don't know the names of the rivers yet), bridges, water/woods walking paths, little shops, cobbled streets, and curvey back alleys. The only slight-problem is that I'm not yet used to the cold. It's not even that cold -yesterday was beautiful- but the air has that dry crispness that makes your skin itch and ears ache. This morning was particularly brisk. I woke up relatively early, for some reason, so I wandered downstairs and happened across the dining room. After a cup of tea and some introductions, I set out to explore more of the town. Turns out, the other direction is almost as beautiful. Once I reached the familiar street - baileys, I think it's called - where my college is located I went across the street to the cathedral, and into the library, where I am now.

Yesterday evening there was a dinner for the new graduates and international students from Chad's, as well as St. John's (the college next to us). But, being the jet-lagged person I was, I fell asleep for "a half hour". During this half hour I completely zonked out and have no recollection of either of my two alarms. So, an hour and half late, I walked into the room ashamed. But, I was pointed in the right direction, and met the international Chad's rep and the headmaster of the college (EDIT: she's actually the "head tutor", the head of the college is a guy people call Papa Joe), who was incredibly nice. She recognized my name and said "Oh! From Pennsylvania, right? Studying archaeology and anthropology? Let me introduce you to some other U.S. archaeology students" and so, she did. We walked over to a new graduate student, and she said "oh, I went to school in Pennsylvania". When I asked her where, she said Dickinson. Me too! Me too! I exclaimed, and we got to talking. Her name is Sarah (I think) and she just graduated. She said she was pretty out of it her senior year, just waiting to come back to England, which would explain why I didn't know her before. She was at Durham her junior year as well, and loved it so much she's back for her master's. Given that Chad's is one of the smallest colleges in the University, if not the smallest, this is a pretty weird thing. It was fun, though. We got to talking about Greece, the Maggidises (Maggidi?), Breanne (one of her friends who I also know and love), and Dickinson in general. Then, today at 10:30 there's coffee for all us newbies, and then an international students fair run by the University as a whole. There's a party Saturday night, and then on Sunday the real craziness begins.

In conclusion, I'm feeling much better about this whole situation, and in fact am having a pretty great time. I'm looking forward to this year.

I hope everyone at home and abroad is doing well - I miss you.

Peace.

Something I haven't read before, courtesy of Reclusive Leftist.

Awesome.

Nervey Butterflies

My last few days have been this:






>>When I failed my drivers test I played with buttons and ribbons, and came up with this. Now my journal is sparkly and fun to play with. It can also hold notes with paperclips. I'm going to try to put notes on every once in a while to remind me what I want to focus on at that time. It's a sort of pre-painting-motivation thing. Mostly, though, I just like the interaction of being able to PAPERCLIP things to the front of my journal! Oh how I love office supplies...

Thanks to Suzi Blu for the hole + ring idea, and thanks to iHanna for getting me to break out the buttons! I made a bracelet in the same vein as her post here, and it's pretty awesome. Different colored buttons and brown ribbon. I forgot how fun it is to be able to actually wear something you've made.

Today I DID pass my drivers test, and am now all licensed up. I have real I.D.! Hurrah!

Less than two weeks until I leave. Yikes.

Not much more to say. Another picture-heavy post, I apologize.

Some more random journal pages (+ a negatized version):

Flutter Wreck

Definitely needed to wreck today. I didn't pass my driver's test, and compounded with stress about school and moving, I was just a frustrated mess of a girl. I'm much better now, and have another driver's test scheduled for Thursday. I WILL get this thing.

I think this has been my favorite activity. The instructions were to tie a string to the spine, and swing the book wildly banging into walls. I didn't actually bang into walls - but oh was it wild! I poked a hole through the spine with a nail and tied a string through it. Silly me, I thought it was smart to find the place in the spine where the two halves of the books separate (is it clear I don't know much about bookbinding?). Actually, this just made all the glue, and in fact the entire book, split in half. The pages were barely hanging on.



(You can also see my chocolate sauce print page)

I decided not to fix it before the swinging. Best. Decision. Ever.

I went outside, in the newly crisp evening air, and swung. I not only swung, I TWIRLED - PAGES FLUTTERED. I thought I lost some pages into a nearby bush, but no. Thank-you, page numbers. Oh, the destruction was so delicious. And the sound of the pages was like nothing else - I felt like a fairy. I needed this so much today.

With the help of red thread and duct tape, it's now back in journal form; new and improved. I may have put the middle section in upside-down and backwards, I just may have. Why? Because I can.






I also did some journal pages, but I don't think I'm quite ready to share them yet (mostly because they aren't scanned and I'm lazy like that). It's funny how things can just appear, and be exactly what I need to see or create. It's nice to know that my doodling hands and brain can take care of me.

Inspire Me Thursday: Yellow

Strings Attached






















I've decided to start doing the weekly prompt/challenge at Inspire Me Thursday. If you don't know about this site, you should check it out. It's a wonderful idea, and a great way for artists to share their art and inspirations. The best part is that the art that's created doesn't have to be any particular kind - not even visual. Sure, there are lots of pictures, but there are also songs, poems, all sorts of things!

This week's topic is yellow. I thought about it, and realized that yellow isn't a color I usually gravitate towards, but it's been coming up an awful lot lately in my journaling. I've been strangely drawn to golden yellows and fuchsia-like purples, along with sometimes lush browns and greens. These colors signify summer to me: sated and happy. They suited my mood back then, you know, last week (so long ago!). But when I got this prompt I really did not feel like yellow at all. The thought of using yellow made me feel like a fake. I despised yellow. But, I decided to just slather a page with yellow and see what I came up with. I did, and it was fun, but I still didn't feel yellow. It was a rainy day(yesterday) , and I was still recovering from the terrible kidney thing (seriously - yellow? Really? Must you have such a cruel sense of humor, world?). Much later that day I was staring at my yellow page, and the brown bookmark of my journal. The colors were just so autumnal. It's kind of neat, you know, how our brain works. There are connections with everything to everything else, and our brain can find them. It's like our whole world is a piece of literature that we can pick apart and close read if we choose to (common saying of Fadi). Really, though. The idea of metaphors had to come from somewhere; it's not like they were invented for literature. They show up all the time in life - or maybe that's just because I've been trained to look for them - possibly even fabricate them. In any case, it's cool that it can be done. Here's this color that I'd associated with summer, and a reluctance to move at all, let alone move on, when all of a sudden it's paired with another color and it takes on a whole new meaning. Fall, death, acceptance, and starting. The color that connects the two seasons is yellow. It's possible to make a smooth transition, because of yellow. So here we are, to transitions. To bursting and dying and shedding, but keeping it all alive underneath.

Some (semi) interesting tid-bits about yellow:

• In Greece, yellow is the color of hatred. Do not give a Greek person yellow flowers. They will make him/her sad. Or, more likely, they will make him/her angry. You do not want a Greek person angry. Trust me.
• I own absolutely no yellow clothing, but I have the happiest bag in the world and it is yellow.
• yellow mixes really badly with purple and black. More so than most colors.
• If you mix yellow with red they make orange.
• Belle wears a yellow dress. She is also the best Disney female protagonist (because everyone knows that "Disney Princess" only actually applies to a few of them).
• I have a yellow flashlight on my windowsill.
• I have a friend with yellow galoshes. And so, I covet.-but I have brown ones with flowers so it's ok
• If your eyes turn yellow it's a really bad sign. Call Dr. House, or something.
  

(I ran out of real tidbits after the first one, sorry)

Crayons, Cake, and Paint

I'm starting to feel back to normal. I woke up happy, which is strange even when I'm healthy. I'm not complaining - it was a great day. Productive, even!

Let's see, let's see. Well, I went driving! I have my test on Tuesday, and I am determined. On this driving trip my dad and I got cake mix, as we celebrated my mom's birthday this evening (even though it was last week). For the occasion, I painted a picture. It's in a frame and everything, it's a new thing I'm trying out. I painted a mother and child, and added a funny quote by Dorothy Parker. I'm pretty pleased with the way it turned out! (there's a picture on the left but the colors turned out wonky in the scanner)

I saw Skye for the first time in a while, so that was great. I love it that we can go for months, years, whatever, and things are still basically the same. I also got her to wreck a page in my journal, which was marvelous. She was throwing rock crystals and everything! I was scared to look. But more on that endeavor later.

My recent art journal obsession is crayons. I think part of it has to do with digging up old art memories. But, another part is that crayons are just plain fun and are made out of pretty wax colors. I've also been fascinated with rubbings and etchings (using crayon, but also scratching away paint). This is another childhood magic; suddenly revealing the colors underneath but with only the thinnest of lines, and having a previously invisible picture that you drew emerge. And it never looks like how you imagined it would!

Another visit to my past occurred today in the form of Remington Steele. Not many people know this, but there was a time in my life (middle school / early high school) where I would watch reruns of Remington Steele nearly every day. This show features dashing Peirce Brosnan as a mysterious, suave detective with a passion for classic movies, paired with clever Laura Holt (technically the real protagonist?), as gaurded and sharp as a woman should be. Dazzling intrigue, witty banter, hints of romance - what more could I ask for? We got the first season on DVD, and I've been watching it with my sister Gael. So cheesy, SO fun. I love this show.

Anyway, my journal entries for today. Nothing special, but I think they document my new found carefree acceptance; a mixture of the old magic and the new sentiments, if you will. I'm starting to be at peace with my situation and imminent changes - starting to, I say, starting to.

Kinks in Plans and Organs

So, I've been in the hospital for the past few days witha kidney infection, and apparently a kidney stone? What? This makes no sense to me. I'm doing ok now, but am still tired, grumpy, and irritable as I recover. This has definitely put a kink in my plan to pack and clean and do good things for the world. Ah well.

Before I was buckled over in pain, I actually finished a painting. A painting that was made not in a book, but with the idea that people look at it! I can't post pictures though, because it's a surprise.

I've also been wrecking my journal. This page said to cover it in circles. I like circles and dots - they come up a lot. So, I decided to focus on the covering part. Circles I can do, with lots of appealing space. Against my instincts at various points, I just kept going. Of course a strange little voice kept popping up telling me that I'd "ruin" it, which is silly considering the journal. but hey, that's why we wreck things. To find those silly little voices and gleefully step on their toes. In the most caring, thankful of manner, of course.





Only ONE WEEK until I see Alex!
Which means only two and a half weeks until I go to England? Yikes.

Outside Journaling

As I mentioned in my first post, I've been going on an art rampage. This is fueled and consists mostly of art journaling. My favorite spot to journal is outside. On my left, you can see pictures of the mess I make. The outside is just so large. There's always room for me there. Also, it's easier to wildly paint with the breeze and sun. In any case, this is what I've been doing instead of actually communicating with people. In a way it's bad, because it gives me a perfect excuse to be alone. I shouldn't be able to settle into solitude so comfortably. It makes me lazy when it comes to upholding actual relationships. It's also good though, because it's important to be comfortable alone. And hey - art - outside - awesome. Anyway, you can see more of my art journal pages at my flickr, but here are a few examples that I've done in the past two or three days (didn't go outside yesterday, as I was reading in my screen porch listening to rain).

Today I hope to journal outside again, as it feels weird not having done it for even just one day. I need to snap out of this lethargy. I'm also going to practice driving today; hopefully I'll actually get my driver's license finally. I'm twenty years old and can't legally drive. Well, with the whole gas thing I guess it's really not so bad. However, I'd like the freedom. Not that I would drive everywhere, but knowing that I COULD would be nice. I have a test scheduled for the 16th, wish me luck.

Besides journaling, I'm also currently working on two different painting projects. One is of Alex and I, and the other is just a girl. The one of Alex and I is fairly realistic (I cheated and used the square method on a picture of us), so I felt the need to do something a bit more imaginative. So that's why. They're turning out nicely, although I'm too careful with them.















This one I did last night and this morning. Just a quick drawing of my Rascal-kitty perching on my hip. She does that a lot.

Wreck This Journal

I got a new plaything the other day. It's a book by Keri Smith called "Wreck This Journal." The subtitle is "to create is to destroy." In the front of the book there's a warning:

"Warning: during the process of this book you will get dirty. You may find yourself covered in paint, or any other number of foreign substances. You will get wet. You may be asked to do things you question. You may grieve for the perfect state that you found the book in. You may begin to see creative destruction everywhere. You may begin to live more recklessly."

It's really a lot of fun. And so, some pictures.

(getting ready to burn!)

Hm, wow. That's a lot of pictures for one post. I had quite a backlog, though. I've had this blog for a few days but have been too lazy/scared to actually post things. Once I get into a habit of uploading pictures as I go, they will be less overwhelming I suspect. One of the things this journal looks to explore is impermanence. So, since I'm going to be doing things like taking it in the shower with me, I thought it would be fun to record-as-I-go. From now on I'll also include observations and more commentary on the experiments.